This study showed that they felt shame and guilt due to the lack of quality of the maternal role and regret for what happened during the addiction and the suffering they caused to the family and children. Matendechere 12 also examined the relationship between self-forgiveness and the risk of relapse to addiction. According to the study of Subhani et al. 13, shame was one of the most important factors in the analysis of women’s narratives that alcohol abuse causes them personal and social crises, and the person feels fear, guilt and shame.
Professional Help and Specialized Therapy
By fostering positive self-talk and encouraging personal growth, these supportive networks aid individuals in navigating the complexities of their emotions. In addition to building resilience and self-compassion on an individual level, it is also important for individuals in recovery to seek out supportive relationships with others who can provide encouragement, understanding, and validation. This may involve connecting with peers in recovery groups or seeking out mentors who have successfully navigated similar challenges. By surrounding themselves with supportive individuals, individuals can build a strong network of social support that can help them navigate feelings of shame and guilt more effectively.
The Role of Shame in Recovery

The research findings suggest that receiving critical reactions and being blamed by friends and colleagues can be significant sources of shame for some participants in recovery from substance use. This finding is consistent with Akhtar’s 30 study on sensitivity to criticism, particularly from peers. According to his view, the experience of shame is closely tied to evaluation by others, especially peers, and the disruption of self-continuity. It seems that when a person is criticized and blamed by their friends and peers, they are more likely to feel shame. Engaging with peers, family, or support groups allows individuals to share their experiences—a process that normalizes feelings of guilt and shame.
Learning from Shame
When we feel like our sense of self-worth is threatened, we may lash out at others to protect ourselves. Resilience and forgiveness offer a constructive, forward-looking framework for prevention and early intervention. Vaillant found warm, sustained relationships were the most powerful predictor of long-term recovery and life satisfaction—more predictive than IQ, education, or socioeconomic status. Finding meaning is key to surviving trauma without disintegration of the self. Belief in something beyond oneself often provides existential grounding and purpose in hardship.
It is likely that the actions taken by a person under the control of using a substance, which he or she is unable to stop, cause him or her to feel shame. Acting in contradiction with cultural values may also be one of the behavioral factors that trigger the feeling of shame. To explain this result, it can be said that a behavior in a particular culture can cause a feeling of shame. For example, in some cultures and situations, the act of substance use itself may be influenced by the values of the particular group and culture, leading to feelings of shame. This finding is consistent with the results of Khantzian and Albanese’s 28 study, which showed that the inability to avoid substance use can lead to feelings of shame. This suggests that individuals who struggle with substance use may experience shame as a result of feeling powerless to control their behavior, which can negatively impact their self-esteem and overall well-being.

Pornography use for coping with psychological distress (depression and anxiety) symptoms may lead to more dysregulation. The program at RRR is structured yet deeply personal, offering a balance of therapy, education, and community that made all the difference in my recovery. They didn’t just help me get sober—they helped me rediscover myself, build resilience, and develop the confidence to move forward. In this blog, I’ll explore what shame is, how it relates to addiction, and why addressing shame in a safe therapeutic space can help you or your loved one find freedom and lasting recovery.
- Shame is considered a “self-conscious emotion” by many mental health professionals.
- Rekindle Valuable Connections – Take this time to reconnect with friends, family, and other close companions to create a loving and nourishing network of support.
- Even during alcohol detox or drug detox under medical supervision, you may feel judged or shamed as the withdrawal symptoms kick in.
Results:
I’d drive to the nearby BP station and buy several morning beers that would ease my physical distress and dull the psychic shame until the next day when the exact same script would repeat. Equipped with this knowledge, a person can take action to prevent these feelings in the future or improve their reactions to these uncomfortable feelings. Guilt can drive a person to make amends for past mistakes and actions, and shame can encourage self-improvement. Dr. Pickrell is a board-certified psychiatrist with interests in addiction and psychiatry. His understanding of addiction as the overlapping symptoms of biopsychosocial development is the foundation to his care model.
Guilt is a reflection of our morality, and we experience this emotion when we violate our moral standards, such as saying something hurtful to a friend, stealing from a family member or inflicting pain on another person. Where addiction is concerned, any conditions – past or present – that strengthen low self-worth and lack of self-confidence, are particularly likely to reinforce the cycle of shame https://ecosoberhouse.com/ and substance abuse. The cycle of shame generally has deep roots, which go back to a person’s childhood and have become a part of their conditioning. People stuck in a cycle of shame and addiction have often grown up in dysfunctional families, where shame and guilt were normalized.
How Does Shame Impact the Body and Mind?
The process of self-stigmatization is pronounced in addiction (Lloyd 2013; Luoma et al. 2007). It comes about via internalization of the negative stereotype, a resultant loss of self-esteem, and acting out of the negative public image. This public image excludes affected individuals from public engagement by seeing them as, for example, unreliable or untrustworthy.
Recognizing the Impact of Shame
Additionally, by bringing up these conversations to others who lack education about addiction or who can increase access to evidence-based treatment, more people can receive the support guilt and shame in recovery they need to recover. While you’re undergoing treatment for addiction and overcoming feelings of shame and guilt, the goal is to forgive yourself and improve your self-worth. When you feel better about yourself, you’ll feel more empowered to face your challenges and create a new self-identity. Through treatment, you’ll learn how to develop positive thought patterns and change your perspective, helping you overcome addiction and uncomfortable thoughts. A guilty conscious often brings about feelings of shame, but the two don’t always go together. Sometimes, a person may be ashamed of something they can’t change, such as a genetic condition or a perceived flaw in their appearance.
An attitude on the therapist’s part that people suffering from addictions are motivated by self-destructiveness, a death drive, or rationalizing failure will likely create more shame in the patient. Understanding that shame may alcoholism be both the initial motivation for the addiction and the result of it permits the therapist much more room for empathy and eventual reduction of the shame. Join 40,000+ People Who Receive Our Newsletter Get valuable resources on addiction, recovery, wellness, and our treatments delivered directly to your inbox.
